A new diet book has been released, you'll be glad to hear, which will improve your waistline AND your sex life.
The dynamically named Are You Gaining Weight and Are You Tired?, by Glenn Bogue (who changed his last name from Bogus in 1983*) examines the link between health, your sex life...and aliens.
You know what, Marketwatch can tell it better than I can. Here, from the article:
Bogue explains that 200,000 years ago, a female scientist was summoned to Earth by beings who had traveled here in search of gold. Using in vitro fertilization and genetic engineering, she took the ovum of a beast found in East Africa and fashioned the first human, the cells of whom were designed to be fed six cellular foods in a specific form in order to produce perfect health, dynamic weight and energy, and a sacred sexual rapture. Today's DNA research has confirmed this history, marking the first time biology, anthropology and theology converge into one truth.*
"People are gaining weight out of ignorance of this simple history," Bogue writes...
Maybe it's wrong to condemn a book out of hand without even reading it. But if rejecting an alien-based explanation of my fat cells is wrong, I don't wanna be thin.
*This is a lie.
.....
did the aliens make humans in order to find the gold for them? also, what the fuck are the 6 foods?
i mean...if i'm willing to get behind a "pyramids are landing pads for spaceships" theory...maybe gold-digging alien geneticists isn't so bad.
Buy the book and find out! Come on...someone...buy the book. I need someone else to read it and report back so I can make fun of it more specifically.